ughhh i hate new york weather. I never know what to wear and it makes my closet organization confusing. I took out all my shorts last week when it was 70 degrees and then 3 days later i walked out and it snowed. Its in the 60s this week but the mornings are still cold (40-50 degrees) like i dont want to freeze to death getting to school but i dont want to be sweating and yucky if its the afternoon and warm>????!!@#

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I’m shadowing a doctor on Monday. I’m kind of nervous but at the same time i might get to wear a cute scrub outfit yayyayayay

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Did a date really just go down hill because i said Justin Timberlake was hot? Are you fucking serious?? There was a song playing and i thought it was by jessie McCartney but you corrected me and said it was by Justin. “Oh well same thing” “no it isn’t” “you’re right Justin Timberlake is hotter.” I couldn’t figure out why you seemed to act differently, until you bought him up again. “Is that why you’re mad?,” “i’m not mad, this just wasn’t the right time for that?”

Am i missing something here?? The right time for what exactly? We were talking about a fucking song and you’re going to get your panties in a bunch because i said Justin timberlake is hot? Is it just me or does this seem fucking stupid? But apparently you’re not able to explain why its not “the right time” to talk about justin timberlake, because you claim you’re not mad or jealous but the reason why you said that was because you thought that if it were me i would be upset about it if you did that. Wtf. Why in the world would i be fucking pissed about you commenting on how a celebrity looks? I told you i would be mad if it was some other girl, not someone you’ve never met before, or never will. Don’t use me as an excuse. “A celebrity is still a person.” SOMEONE I’VE NEVER FUCKING MET BEFORE. “Oh but we were having a nice date and a good time and it wasn’t the time for that.” I don’t even know what to fucking do anymore. You act like a damn child and your fucking jealousy shows what an idiot you are. And i have to deal with the fact you cant control your emotions? 

We agreed on talking things out but you won’t listen to what i need to say. You keep saying the same things over and over again. “i wasn’t mad about that.” “I’m not jealous.” “It just wasn’t the time for that.” We were at buffalo wild wings watching basketball and eating onion rings. I don’t understand why this would affect you or why it WOULDN’T be a time to say that. Thats the equivalent of saying “oh what a nice donut” but apparently to you it isn’t, since Justin timberlake is a person and a male, regardless if he’s a fucking celebrity and i’ve never met him.

Then i told you “I was done” when i realized that you are too ignorant and could care less about what i feel. We’re walking to the train station when all of a sudden you say “so you’re just going to ignore me now?” Um when did i ignore you? “You said you were done.” I meant i was done with the argument, plus you haven’t said anything to me so how could i have ignored you? “i was trying to talk to you the whole time” BUT YOU DIDNT FUCKING SAY ANYTHING. You don’t think i want to talk too?? And then you tried to argue that “oh when you say you’re done it usually means your ignoring me.” Thats your own fucking assumption, you didn’t say anything to me the whole time so how could i ignore you? When i say im done and ignore you its usually because i can just hang up on skype and do something else. You assumed that it meant i was going to ignore you, how is it my fault? And you STILL tried to shove your opinion down my throat. “Tell me that when you say ‘I’m done’ that doesn’t mean that you’re going to ignore me.” THATS NOT TRUE AND NOT RELEVANT. Is it possible that when i said im done i meant with the argument? OF COURSE IT IS BECAUSE I JUST PROVED IT BY TALKING TO YOU AFTER WE FOUGHT. Why can’t you just learn to shut the fuck up and let things go when you’re wrong???

Then you tell me “We said we were going to talk things out when we argue.” Why the fuck would i keep letting you talk to me if all you did is disregard what i say, or if your unable to realize your errors? Still i gave you another chance and we sat down in the subway and talked. You still couldn’t give me a concrete answer and i told you that i’m tired of dealing with your irrational jealous and you’re incompetence of- and then you told me “don’t call me stupid.” I told you i wasn’t, and thats not what incompetent means. You said i basically just called you stupid. Well according to Merriam-Webster it means “incapable or inept” no where does it say stupid. I told you it meant “not being able to do something” and that i was going to say you’re too incompetent to have a normal conversation without letting jealousy get the best of you. But you didnt even let me finish my fucking sentence, and even after i explained it to you, you still said “are you kidding me? You can’t even try to run from saying that.” Whats the fucking point of talking if you’re just going to tell me what i said every fucking time? I gave you a chance to make things up, all you had to say was “it was silly for me to get worked up from you saying that justin timberlake was hot, sorry” and everything would have been fine. But no, every single fucking time something happens, you always push things even though i always give you a chance to make it up AFTER i explain things, and even AFTER i explain things you STILL wont be able to apologize.

Look what happened 2 days ago? You fucking flipped a shit because i “deleted” a message from my phone, even though i let you go through all of my fucking things and gave up my privacy to you because you can’t trust me like other fucking normal boyfriends, when i’ve done fucking nothing for you to not trust me, while you go hugging and buying girls shit. 

You’re nothing but a jealous and controlling prick. I’m not going to deal with this childish crap anymore. Grow the fuck up. 

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